If you study fervently enough, I suppose you can learn the secrets to every little thing....

Concealed Weapon

15 days short of a year ago... right before Pop Pop Passed

Wrote this 15 days short of a year ago.... right before Pop-Pop passed. I never wrote. I should have written... retrospective on a year. Think of caffeine drawings, bird cylinders... likely the crazy quotient has decreased...

"Pass out from utter exhaustion the night before. Awake and walk down manhattan ave with one eye open.

Return home make 6 shots espresso and place into latte milk. Drink and feed birds. Clean house. Mop Floors. Become increasingly disgusted with state of kitchen and various dumpings from daily adventures and subsequent late night home crashes. Carry on to cleaning off kitchen table.

Look for baby pictures. Become increasingly frustrated that cannot find pictures. Decide to clean off fridge photos.

Decide to move on to top of fridge cleaning. Quite an undertaking. Organize bills and papers from two years ago. Find many notes and cards from mother and friends. Feel very guilty must write to grandparents. Must call Dad. Must call sister, cousins, and brother. File cards away since can't throw out. Find many saved feathers from parrots. Try to throw out ... can't. Think of feather headpieces and birdie bodies and how long it takes to grow a feather and how they carefully must zip them together probably 50 times per day. Think of love. Think of baby egglettes. Make the 20th pile of feathers in a jar.

Coffee very good.

Think about Alex and Me. Think of warm feathery cylinders of beaky love. Listen to Griffin freak out gleefully to Cibo Matto and KNOW YOUR CHICKEN! WOOO! Apple! Water! Think about our new friend Goose. Must teach Griffin about the colour wheel and dressing like a gothic lolita. Must find stripey ribbon and velvet for new Griffin outfit. Find baby pictures! Elation. Then find hidden lightbulbs above oven. AHHHH! Must tell Andy/ Ahh! But we're not talking anymore. Feel bad. Feel mixed. Must get art materials.

Need to turn living room into a studio. Loving new Yeasayer album. Must go return phone and visit medical school. Must clean and windex every glosss surface. Can't find tweezers.

Spend about 30 minutes trying to unscrew sink pipe, convinced the tweezers fell into drain while I cleaned the bathroom. Look for another set of tweezers in mobile facial kit. Find skin care goodies and freak out. Eventually I find tweezers that were NOT in drain on mouse pad. Realize the sheer insanity of it all. Feel great that house is clean. Now it's all White Pepper Ice Cream lounge.

Feeling really good.

Trying to make quick imovie with pumpkins. Try to remove audio. "This will only take a second," Ha! Lauren you know this will take 4 hours. \

Refocus. Leave video alone. archive.

Must write this down and illustrate later with small drawings of caffeinated craziness. I am insane.

Is caffeine a drug?

This is why I find it difficult to leave the house.

Amen"

I believe my leaving the house skills have improved ten fold.

Post Mortem Joey Drawing

In memory of dearly missed Joey, who departed from this world earlier this month.

October 2010 Inventory

Taking Inventory on a Nice Cool Fall Evening.

/Begin Inventory

One Gus Cat about to be tied in a nice black ribbon:

One Roxie Cat Thinking about her next Drool Tactic Strategy:

One NurseFactory Nurse who is drawing said inventory:

One Marko Owl who is diligently and patiently sharing Nice Music with me:

Total: Four Nice Things.

End Inventory. \

Happy Birthday!

EXTRA SUGAR EXTRA SALT EXTRA OIL AND MSG!

Dead Crow Copper Drypoint

the seasons come in
All the nights are woven
All the nights we'll see them through -PM

Was feeling particularly caffeinated this morning. Took this etching off my wall, unframed it, and scanned it properly.

2003 . Reminded me of Falls past.

Give them ice for their fevers You're the only thing I ever want anymore

I always see this girl on the G train... and somewhere else. I can never figure out where. I looked up this evening and as I waited for the train to leave to take me home from work, she was sitting there. Highlighting something on a paper. I drew it inside the jacket of the This Side of Paradise, since it was the only paper thing I had. So this is what you get in about as fast as two stops.

We will do everything you want

"Why don't we keep on and travel now when it can never be more fun? We will do everything you want. "Ernest Hemingway GoE

Crane

Tatiana Avec Wenny

Glamourous world travelers always make sure that their cockatoo companions wear diamonds, have a shiny polished beak, and speak eloquently.

Knife girl pre op

Stylized slaying. .. or perhaps just cutting pomegranates...

Kingfisher I drew on a shirt for my father.

Today Wednesday is so hot that she won't even sing. I wet down her feathers under a cold rain of shower water and she dried in the time it takes me to fill the iced water pitcher. I'm taking her for a bike ride now to the studio, so that she can feel the wind in her feathers the way that she loves and then in return she will pose for me so that I can draw her.

The water is coming out of me in large detoxifying droplets. I can feel my molecules pulling tighter together. The city makes that happen. Ye of substance shall survive this heat and gain foresight.

I'm becoming closer to God with every thought of the bleeding dove prayer card and walk by the Episcopal church... When will they hold their blessing of the animals so that Wednesday will be allowed in to pray for a cold clean lake for us all?

I can feel it taking hold

Now i am an animal

Now i am a chemical

Once again

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep.

A lady came in and said that her clothes were covered in blood, but there were no marks on her skin.

This picture is the other half of another picture.

Drawings can be broken in half, changed, colored, added red and black. No one would know what the other half held unless it was shown. Here is a woman whispering into the ear of a deer. It was drawn nearly two years ago. Outside of PS1 it smelled of blueberry danishes. Inside me I felt like blood. Outside me it looked like white flesh and a sketchbook.

The two drawings would fit together. For every drawing, what is on the opposite side, the back, underneath, torn out?

Why do we keep certain ones to ourselves, secret, whispers to a silent creature?

We save some for dessert. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep.

The thrill of real pleasure only goes to those with heavily tufted Talons.

"I should think the novelty of the emotion must have given you a thrill of real pleasure, Dorian,"

It can be poisoned, or made perfect.

This is a little list. I carry it around like a little rotting scrap in crazyperson fashion in my bag or notebook. The reason is that the Pulley Raven is a recurring theme and I would like to remind myself visually of where the parts go. The bottom part is added by AWA. His beast paws are about to grasp the bird. I love this drawing. It's rather Picasso- minotauresque!

Now for some installation shots:

And Future site next to Shepard Fairey with Wenny helping me scout:

Full view of this wonderful corner that will take some big parrot balls to master:

Inventory: Taking Inventory

Pictured above: Meta Inventory

This morning I sewed Android's pants with my precious 1890 sewing machine. I think they should last him for another 2.3 years at least. I had to tighten the leather belt-driver, and got the metal piece jammed under my thumb trying to dislodge it. I even did some preventative medicine, namely in the crotch and the cell-phone wearage areas. I sat and mended parts he didn't even know were broken yet so that he had to wait around without pants in my room longer.

Inventory of Reasons:

1. I carried TWENTY pounds of (intact) watermelon up the stairs in ONE HUNDRED degrees of Brooklyn Heat yesterday and posted a drawing on it and a BLACK satin ribbon with a secret note for his head to feel better. I drew his head wearing spiked welding goggles too and gave him extra hair.

2. I will never gain TWENTY pounds because that is a lot of extra weight to carry around in ONE HUNDRED degree weather.

3. I gave him a pedicure on his big Bear paws and even ceremoniously BUFFED and lacquered his toes with a clear coat (unsolicited but he had fallen asleep)

4. I sewed his pants on my ONE HUNDRED plus year old machine and drove a sharp piece of metal halfway under my thumbnail and did not cry (with tears)

5. I cut his fingernails.

More interesting things I've inventoried: (Taking Inventory)

1. Bird Drawing

2. SPF

3. Lab Partners

4. Table Salt

5. Sponge

6. Scrub Brush

7. Pumice Stone

8. Body Wash

9. Bleach

10. Razor Blade

11. Big Syringe

12. Ice Cubes

13. Happy Pills

14. Face Cream

15. Cell Phone

16. Fancy Scissors

17. Wenny Feather

18. Love Note

19. Candy Stash

20. Metro Card.

The inventory above happens in that order for a reason. The sewing machine orders the meta-inventory to illustrate another reason. The toenail-cutting inventory illustrates the obsessive-compulsive need to put one's skin and skin-pieces is order. When one's skin and skin-pieces are already in order, it is necessary to torment the males species' in immediate proximity to the point of exhaustion so that one does not "over-order" one's own pieces to the point of shredded pieces and subsequent malorder.

I shot falcons out to remove all your masks!

So I might leave the House/Studio/Greenpoint area for the first time in many days to find a copy center and restock supplies.

Lo and behold, the printer birthed these last evening on a whim to go BIGGER:

I'm going to recolour them. I've run out of (waterfast) scarlet ink and my special Medical Sauce. I figure I can get a bigger size as well as save my precious printer ink.

.... so I fear the public gaze and the subway even more... I will just bring Wednesday with me as a buffer, as I've been doing everyday lately. She's excellent for closeup feather studies and children love her. Since PearlPaint closed I will have to go to Utrecht, then look for a place to copy these in the U.S. area

.....

This video is completely gorgeous. I love this guy's work! Exploding falcons! Red black and white! I'm very much enamoured. Enameled... Thanks Bob for always turning me on to great music... (a talented artist too)

When it is this hot, it makes your Talons BLEED!

When it is this hot, your Talons BLEED.

find me electricity...

"There is no use your telling me that you are going to be good,"

Dorian Gray shook his head. "No, Harry, I have done too many
dreadful things in my life. I am not going to do any more.
I began my good actions yesterday."

Strange Attractor

An attractor is informally described as strange if it has non-integer dimension or if the dynamics on it are chaotic.

"Culture and corruption"

I traveled all over Bushwick, Greenpoint, and Williamsburg today.






I changed the name and the look a little. Medical Owl is too narrow a term. I also had to have a label, so I experimented with making some rubber stamps by hand. I noticed some wheatpasters use a library stamp to show day and date. Clever! But that is one more thing to worry about when you're trying to put it up really fast. There is also a reason that street art is usually in one place.


It means:
1. The building owner does not care or likes it
2. It is something like a phone pole or a USPS item... the City of New York and the Fire Dept are QUICK to remove anything on a pump or street lamp or a Do not walk Box.
3. It is probably in a good place with visibility of who is coming, dark at night, no cameras, and little population (at least at night).....

Sticking to artist enclaves and industrial wastelands (beautiful forests of the urban landscape...soon we will have a industrial section of Greenpoint picnic at night...like being in the forest but surrounded by neon and concrete....)



Here is a taste of the next woodcut carving, in very early form. (first print run... she needs lots of tweaks. "I should think the novelty of the emotion must have given you
a thrill of real pleasure, Dorian," She was just having the best day of her life. Now she can't leave the house. Typical.




She may go nicely with a syringe or something else.

"Culture and corruption," echoed Dorian. "I have known something of both.
It seems terrible to me now that they should ever be found together. "

I tell you, Dorian, that it is on things like these that our lives depend.

"Life is not governed by will or intention.
Life is a question of nerves, and fibres, and slowly built-up
cells in which thought hides itself and passion has its dreams.
You may fancy yourself safe and think yourself strong. But a chance
tone of colour in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume
that you had once loved and that brings subtle memories with it,
a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again,
a cadence from a piece of music that you had ceased to play--
I tell you, Dorian, that it is on things like these that our lives depend.
Browning writes about that somewhere; but our own senses will imagine
them for us. There are moments when the odour of lilas blanc passes
suddenly across me, and I have to live the strangest month of my life
over again. I wish I could change places with you, Dorian. The world
has cried out against us both, but it has always worshiped you.
It always will worship you. You are the type of what the age
is searching for, and what it is afraid it has found. "




top: Feather in Czech Glass Syringe, artist's private collection, gift from Griffin & Andy lover of birds
bottom: ink wash leg warmer girl, yellow sketchbook collection

Falcons in our Midsts...

There are falcons living in McCarren Park. One was looking hungrily at Wednesday. I watched them eat rodents atop the bright baseball diamond lights.

Medipoint

Medipoint lancet and gift tag stickers I made from Christmas



The girls are nurses and holding platters of birds.


There is a small amount of blood on the lancet.